Never too late to breast feed!

As many of you mommies are aware, breast milk is THE absolute best thing you can ever give your kid. If you don't believe me, as the lady who bombarded my hospital room after I had my daughter. I made the mistake of arguing with her- she grabbed my boob (while I had visitors) and made me do a live demo. True story.

Anyways, you haven't missed your chance.



Thanks to some "great" ice creamologists (is that even a word) in London, we can now give our kids who missed out on breast milk via breast milk ice cream! It's true. Click the link and read all about it.

Also, for you  mommies looking to earn a few extra bucks, the shoppe is looking for more breast milk donations...and they pay!

Ok, I don't know if it really has any health benefits. And there is no way for me to find out, because I am too grossed out to even consider trying it. But, the article does note that you can order it with a shot of whiskey. Boobcream float anyone?

Quick and funny period story

My friend's daughter recently started her period (sorry guys- you probably didn't want to read that). Usually they start off irregular, so she did not have one the next month. So she asked her mom (my friend) if that meant she was going to die.

Super funny.

Since my friend is a good mom, she answered honestly and explained how the cycle takes a while to regulate.

I'm thinking that when my time comes I may tell my kid that missed period = death

LMAO!

Have a good day!

According to THEM...working Moms Suck

I once read an article about how Stay-at-home-moms produce smarter children. I also recently read an article that working moms produce fatter unhealthier kids. Every-time I turn around I am reading about the benefits of being able to stay at home with your kids. I have nothing against mothers who stay home with their children. I know it is a tough job, but I do not agree that staying at home will produce superior children.

And yes, I am biased.
I work and my kid is awesome.
My mom worked and I am a super genius.
Her mom worked and she is amazing.

Working Moms deserve more credit. By day we run offices, answer to bosses, deal with irate humans. By night we cook, we clean, we wife, we mother. That mess is difficult...almost insane! I do all of this only to open up my laptop and see about 3 articles each day about how my decision to work is going to ruin my kids life, health, and emotional well being..

My response:

Tell it to someone who is listening.

For the record, I love working full time and parenting full time. I wouldn't choose to do anything different.

Signed,
Your resident working mom who LOVES working and being a mom at the same time

Why are these kid's movies so sad

I was at lunch with a few coworkers this week and the topic of kid movies came up. Since I am the only one with a kid, it is safe to assume I started the conversation. What prompted the discussion was the movie Up . If any of you have watched it, maybe you understand why it made my list of depressing kids movies that are sad for no reason.

Long story short: two kids grow up and fall in love. As a married couple, they find out they can't have children, life's struggles prevent them from taking a dream vacation that they've dreamed about since childhood, the wife falls sick and dies, the widowed husband lives alone and their home was going to fall victim to imminent domain. So, to avoid this he tied balloons to the house and floated to the place he and he wife had planned to vacation. Then...the adventure begins.  So, all in all the story was not bad- BUT WAS ALL THE DEPRESSION NECESSARY? I would like to vote no.

Sure, all the sad stuff happened in a sequence of images and no sound so it went over the kid's head....but I was crying, or sobbing depending on who tells the story.

Is it necessary to add a series of very adult situations to capture the attention of parents in order for us to enjoy the film? Is it? I think I could appreciate just a regular old kids movie minus the death of a loved one or parent. That ish is traumatic.

Maybe I need to stick to Care Bears and My Little Pony...now those were movies!

What are your thoughts? Do you enjoy the adult portions of kids movies? Do they make you more apt to purchase movie tickets? Let me know!!

Katy's Mom is so Fat...

And yes, by Katy's mom, I mean me.

So, in my efforts to attempt being a responsible adult, I applied for life insurance. The thought was that if anything ever happens to me or the Husband, the kid would be financially taken care of (for a while at least). So, we jumped through the usual hoops (physical, blood test, paying money) and left it at that.

Then BAM!!!! DENIAL. In the mail yesterday I received a letter telling me after long consideration, I was denied because of my stature. To me the letter looked like this:

So, what does that mean you may ask. It means I am too fat for life insurance. It means I am at high risk of dying before I pay off a policy so I am not a good gamble for the company. And I think that sucks. My physical came back fine. I am overall and apparently surprising healthy for my "stature" which is short and fat in case you were wondering. Yes I am over weight, but I have never fit into the dang height weight chart.

 And I think it sucks that I can't insure my spouse because I am fat. Confusion.

I want to blame this on pregnancy, I really really do. But the truth is I gained this weight after I had the kid. So maybe mommyhood did it. Or better yet...

TV! Yeah that's right! I blame TV. It is the root of all evil. OK maybe not. But it made me happy when I typed it.

So I have said all of this to say that maybe I need to lose a pound or 80 so I can be around for my kid as she grows up. It is either lose weight or get taller. I am accepting tips for both. Help a sistah out!

It's official~ I have given my child a complex!

I guess that isn't that great of a title, but that's exactly what has happened.
In my efforts to teach the child to be leery of strangers, I have helped her develop kidnapophobia.

So maybe I made that term up, but I bet you know what I mean.

This morning she woke up and the first thing she said is "Mom what will you do if I get kidnapped."
I answered honestly: "Go to prison." Bad answer yes...honest also yes.

Anyway, I then tried to calm the situation by telling her my job as her mom is to protect her and not to worry.

So of course, because my kid is some sort of genius, she then asks me how do I plan to protect her when she starts school....

Why would she ask me something like that? I am wondering the same thing. I put on my best poker face and gave her the best "teachers are our friends" speech that I could come up with.

I hope I was convincing.

Your Baby CAN read!

But mine can't. I mean not even a single letter word.
So does this make me a bad parent? Probably so. But hey I am trying.

She has the $300 complete Your baby Can Read DVD collection., EVERY single Dr. Seuss book, and I even bought her word puzzles. The kid just has no interest in reading. She says it all the time. For some reason I thought she would naturally be a genius like her mom (yes me). Instead, she is "creative" like her dad. I am at a loss. I can't even read a book to her because she always wants to close the book and make up a new story...WHAT KIND OF STUFF IS THAT?

I am more of a 2+2=4 type of person. She is more of a 2+2 MAY equal 4 but it COULD be something more.
I guess it isn't such a bad thing. She is very inquisitive. I just want her to be more interested in the basics, the foundation, the real stuff.

I guess I have to understand that we are different. And different isn't bad...just different.
With that said, anybody want an almost new copy of Your Baby Can read?