10 Things Not To Say to Your Childfree Friends

I read an article on Yahoo! and thought it was pretty awesome. I think I am most guilty of #8. Which are you most guilty of? Let me know in the Comments section.

Here is an excerpt of the article below...

I've learned a few things about how to keep friendships strong when you don't have parenthood in common. Here are 10 things not to say to your friends who don't have children.

1. "When will you finally have kids?"
Once you have offspring, you want your friends to share the experience. But please don't loudly ask this question across the table at Thanksgiving dinner or at a baby shower. Although many people are happy to be childfree or waiting, the situation may be more complicated. A friend could be facing infertility, in the agonizing position of having a spouse who doesn't want children, or otherwise in a complex struggle over the issue. Bring it up privately with close friends, or wait for them to share with you.

2. "We always wanted to have a family."
If you use the expression "have a family" to mean "have children," you inadvertently send a message that people without kids are... family-less. Family comes in many forms: significant others, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors -- happily, the list goes on!

3. "I only invited other parents."
Having children is the norm, and people who are childfree can sometimes feel isolated or excluded. So invite us to birthday parties! Sure, there are some people who just don't like kids and have no desire to spend an afternoon surrounded by them. They can decline the invitation, and the rest of us will cheer when the birthday boy takes his first bite of cupcake.

4. "Are you hung-over?"
If you had kids when you were on the younger side, you may have transitioned abruptly from staying out bar-hopping to night feedings and Yo Gabba Gabba -- and years later, you may assume that we're still acting like our crazy twentysomething selves. But just because we don't have kids doesn't mean we aren't growing up.

5. "You're so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel."
We understand that you give up a lot to be the amazing parent you are -- and we do appreciate our extra cash and free time, and god, yes, the sleep. But too many offhand comments like this make us feel like you assume the reason we don't have children is that we're lazy, selfish, or shallow. The decision is never that simple.

6. "This must be birth control for you."
Parents often make this joke when their kid is being loud or persistent, and we understand it's because you're worried the situation is bugging the hell out of everyone around you. Don't stress -- a good friend understands that your kid is going to have a meltdown once in a while. We can take it. And, of course, a crying toddler is not actually a tipping point in our decision to have kids. We're not that shortsighted.

7. "Your dog/cat/parakeet is your baby."
Pets are a huge part of many people's lives, whether or not those people have children. But it feels like a consolation prize when you put it like this. That said, ask about my cat; I'm happy to pull up my latest photo of her adorableness.

8. "I can't die; I'm a mom."
During a recent brief terrorism scare in New York City, a friend said to me, "I have to get out -- I can't die; I'm a mom." We know you have someone depending on you in an unprecedented way, but there are people who love and depend on us, too.

9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back."
Don't start every correspondence with an apology. Your life is insane and letting us know you want to make time for us is appreciated. But don't stress so much: My life is busy too, and more often than not, I didn't even notice a lag.

10. "You wouldn't understand."
We know there are many things about parenting you will turn to your mom friends to talk about. And, honestly, with anyone other than a close friend, that's probably best -- I lose interest fast when someone I don't know well talks too much about their kids. But when we're real friends, don't let our relationship fade because you're afraid of boring us with parenting stuff. Just like we used to listen to you talk about your ex, we want to hear about what's important in your life now. And we hope you'll do the same for us.

3 Reasons I Love the Husband

Disclaimer: the title of this post is far more sappy than I could ever be in real life

Now, that we are past that....Here are the top 3 reasons I love my husband (well top reasons I can share )

3) He is tall. Though his height is up for debate (he says 6 ft I say 5'11)

2) He makes me laugh and we are really good friends. Seriously, we like the same music (for the most part- his taste sometimes lacks logic), we like the same tv shows, we enjoy the same activities, and the list goes on...

and the number one reason I love my husband is......

1) WE MAKE A GREAT EFFIN TEAM! I have his back and he has mine- no matter what. And that is what matters most to us!

Here is the vid to our favorite song in case you care...Enjoy!

Kids and Maxi Pads

What is it with kids and their interest in all things gross. I mean, they love mud, boogers, and freaking maxi pads.

I remember when I was younger and I too was intrigued by them. Now I wish I never had to see one again.
If you have a moment (and you do because you are reading this) go to Google Image and type kids and maxi pads or kids and tampons. You will see stuff like this:

So anyway, a few days ago a very brightly colored box was delivered to my home. It looked like it could have been something for a child. But since I know how to read I saw that it was a free sample from Tampax ( I so love free samples!) .My daughter insisted it was for her because it was pink and yellow with decorated very nicely. So she opened it.

She looked at the tampax variety pack sample for a moment and exclaimed, "YES, PADS!"

WTF? Confusion.

The sh*t my kid says

So far this weekend, my daughter has said all these wonderfully honest things to me...

While watching television, a commercial for Celtrixa came on. She got really excited and yelled, "Mommy, mommy you need that!"

I was watching What Not to Wear. My daughter asked me how she can get me on the show.

She overheard a conversation I was having about Tupac Shakur (love him fyi). So she asked who shot Michael Jackson. I said Dr. Conrad Murray.








That's all I can think of so far. Sorry for being gone for way too long.

She's growing up!

This past weekend I realized that my sweet dear baby has not one, but TWO loose teeth! What the eff!
I noticed that her bottom tooth appeared irritated or something so I touched her tooth and it moved. So I tried the other and it moved too! Katy was so happy. She ran around the house yelling "I've been waiting my whole life for this!"

Your whole life Katy? Really? (Does anyone see the drama I have to deal with around here lol)

I ran the the bathroom and cried a little (not a lot, just like 2 tears only for real) and quickly composed myself because the husband was making fun of me and telling me to man up. But in my defense, those friggin' teeth caught me off guard. I was not expecting my girl to have loose teeth at 4. She is too young...she JUST grew those teeth!

Anyhow, I took her to the dentist and they took an x-ray. Amazingly, her adult teeth are in place and ready to sprout! My baby is growing up right before my eyes! Those teeth will fall out before the end of the week I am sure. Until then, I better hurry and go take family photos!

What would you like to change about your child?

I received an interesting email from Growing Child today about changing the behavior of your child. I found it to be interesting, so I copied it into my blog :0)  Please read it and let me know what you thin. It suggests there is a part two, so when I get it I will re-post it as well.

Quick! What's the one thing you would like to change about your child?

Okay. Now, why do you want to change it?

Chances are, it's because that behavior causes the worst side of you to come out, as you nag incessantly. When considering behaviors to change, there are several things to ask yourself first.

Is this behavior mostly a result of where your child is on the developmental ladder? That is, does your child behave in this annoying way mostly because of where he/she is in developmental ability or task?

An example of this would be the two-year-old who resists nearly every suggestion from a parent. Difficult as it may be to live with such defiance, a little knowledge will confirm that this is pretty typical behavior for a youngster who is forming a sense of autonomy.

Developmental limitations may frustrate your child and not permit more mature actions. So, refresh your developmental knowledge to learn whether or not this behavior is a product of development.

If you decide that the behavior falls into the developmental category, accept the fact that you will not be able to change the behavior, but that you can learn to adopt some responses that may preserve your sanity and allow your child to both work at the developmental level and not receive continual negative feedback.

An example of this would be to allow more choices for the two-year-old, such as choosing which shirt to wear or which cup to use. A little power shared often helps defuse a power struggle.

If you have concluded that it is not a developmental issue, ask yourself whether the behavior is part of your child's unique temperament. While children don't directly inherit personality, they are born with hard-wired temperaments that influence their characteristic patterns of behavior.

Some children are more naturally boisterous and outgoing, some much quieter, finding it easier to comply. Some children have a tendency to be quite inflexible and rigid, while others happily go with the flow.

Consider the behaviors that have been part of your child since birth. Any parent would do much better recognizing innate temperament and learning how to adapt to that, rather than trying to meet it headlong with often disastrous results.

Another thing to ask yourself before you launch into behavioral change is, just why you have a problem with it? What are your expectations for behavior, where do these expectations come from, and are they reasonable/appropriate?

Sometimes others have influenced our standards, by earlier experiences, or by personal preferences. Discovering why certain behaviors push our particular buttons may be important learning for parents, and we learn whose problem it really is.

When you have gone through this reflection process, you may discover one of several things:

1. Either the behavior is not so important or so permanent as to necessitate efforts to change it; or

2. Strategic responses have rendered the behavior more tolerable; or

3. This really is a behavior that needs some modification.

If this latter answer is the one you come up with, then it's time to consider effective ways of changing behavior. More about this in the next article.

Cindy Anthony: The story of a mother's love?

As some of you may know, I am a wannabe attorney. So, I often follow court cases. Recently I have been enthralled in the Casey Anthony case. The verdict, as most of the nation knows, was returned as Not Guilty which stunned, shocked, and enraged everyone on Planet Earth. Well almost everyone. I was not surprised at all. The burden of proof was on the prosecution not the defense, and no matter how much we may feel like Casey was guilty, the proof was not in the pudding. But I've digressed. This entry actually has nothing to do with my opinion about the case. It is about Cindy, Casey Anthony's mom, and her unconditional love.

You see, Cindy Anthony was the person who alerted the authorities of her granddaughter's disappearance. She was the one who suspected foul play. And in the end, she was the one who guaranteed her daughter's freedom with her testimony. Cindy Anthony ,at some point, lied during her testimony. What changed her mind? Did she decide not lose both her daughter and her granddaughter?

Cindy lied under oath. She said she searched for Chloroform on the internet. However she was signed in at work at the time making it impossible to do the search on her home computer. This testimony was enough to confuse the jury and make it impossible to prove premeditation (which is typically needed to find a person guilty of 1st degree murder) . Ultimately, only Cindy and Casey know the truth. The rest of us will probably never know (unless an OJ Simpson style "If I DID commit the crime This is How I would do it" book is released). What we do know, is that Cindy is very loyal to her child--no matter what.  She has publicly with one hand on the Bible proven the power of a mother's unconditional love for her child. I do not believe she is the only mother to do something like this, nor do I believe she will be the last.

What would you do to save your child from the gas chamber? If  your child was facing the death penalty, can you honestly say you wouldn't perjure yourself to save her life...

Rest in Peace Caylee