I read an article on Yahoo! and thought it was pretty awesome. I think I am most guilty of #8. Which are you most guilty of? Let me know in the Comments section.
Here is an excerpt of the article below...
I've learned a
few things about
how to keep friendships strong when you don't have
parenthood in common. Here are 10 things not to say to your friends
who don't have children.
1. "When will you finally have
Once you have offspring, you want your friends to share the
experience. But please don't loudly ask this question across
the table at
Thanksgiving dinner or at a baby shower. Although many
people are happy to be childfree or waiting, the situation may be
more complicated. A friend could be facing infertility,
in the agonizing position of having a spouse who doesn't want
children, or otherwise in a complex struggle over the issue. Bring
it up privately with close friends, or wait for them to share with
2. "We always wanted to have a
If you use the expression "have a family" to mean
"have children," you inadvertently send a message that
people without kids are... family-less.
Family comes in many forms: significant others, parents,
siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors -- happily, the list
3. "I only invited other parents."
Having children is the norm, and people who are childfree can
sometimes feel isolated or excluded. So invite us to
birthday parties! Sure, there are some people who just
don't like kids and have no desire to spend an afternoon
surrounded by them. They can decline the invitation, and the rest
of us will cheer when the birthday boy takes his first bite of
4. "Are you hung-over?"
If you had kids when you were on the younger side, you may have
transitioned abruptly from staying out bar-hopping to
night feedings and Yo Gabba Gabba -- and years later,
you may assume that we're still acting like our crazy
twentysomething selves. But just because we don't have kids
doesn't mean we aren't growing up.
5. "You're so lucky you get to sleep
We understand that you give up a lot to be the
amazing parent you are -- and we do appreciate our extra cash
and free time, and god, yes, the sleep. But too many offhand
comments like this make us feel like you assume the reason we
don't have children is that we're lazy, selfish, or
shallow. The decision is never that simple.
6. "This must be birth control for
Parents often make this joke when their kid is being loud or
persistent, and we understand it's because you're worried
the situation is bugging the hell out of everyone around you.
Don't stress -- a good friend understands that your kid is
have a meltdown once in a while. We can take it. And, of
course, a crying toddler is not actually a tipping point in our
decision to have kids. We're not that shortsighted.
7. "Your dog/cat/parakeet is your
Pets are a huge part of many people's lives, whether or not
those people have children. But it feels like a consolation prize
when you put it like this. That said, ask about my cat; I'm
happy to pull up my latest photo of her adorableness.
8. "I can't die; I'm a mom."
During a recent brief terrorism scare in New York City, a friend
said to me, "I have to get out --
I can't die; I'm a mom." We know you have someone
depending on you in an unprecedented way, but there are people who
love and depend on us, too.
9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to
call/email/text you back."
Don't start every correspondence with an apology. Your life is
insane and letting us know you want to make time for us is
don't stress so much: My life is busy too, and more often
than not, I didn't even notice a lag.
10. "You wouldn't understand."
We know there are many things about parenting you will turn to your
mom friends to talk about. And, honestly, with anyone other than a
close friend, that's probably best -- I lose interest fast when
someone I don't know well talks too much about their kids. But
we're real friends, don't let our relationship fade
because you're afraid of boring us with parenting stuff. Just
like we used to listen to you talk about your ex, we want to hear
about what's important in your life now. And we hope you'll
do the same for us.