10 Things Not To Say to Your Childfree Friends

I read an article on Yahoo! and thought it was pretty awesome. I think I am most guilty of #8. Which are you most guilty of? Let me know in the Comments section.

Here is an excerpt of the article below...

I've learned a few things about how to keep friendships strong when you don't have parenthood in common. Here are 10 things not to say to your friends who don't have children.

1. "When will you finally have kids?"
Once you have offspring, you want your friends to share the experience. But please don't loudly ask this question across the table at Thanksgiving dinner or at a baby shower. Although many people are happy to be childfree or waiting, the situation may be more complicated. A friend could be facing infertility, in the agonizing position of having a spouse who doesn't want children, or otherwise in a complex struggle over the issue. Bring it up privately with close friends, or wait for them to share with you.

2. "We always wanted to have a family."
If you use the expression "have a family" to mean "have children," you inadvertently send a message that people without kids are... family-less. Family comes in many forms: significant others, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors -- happily, the list goes on!

3. "I only invited other parents."
Having children is the norm, and people who are childfree can sometimes feel isolated or excluded. So invite us to birthday parties! Sure, there are some people who just don't like kids and have no desire to spend an afternoon surrounded by them. They can decline the invitation, and the rest of us will cheer when the birthday boy takes his first bite of cupcake.

4. "Are you hung-over?"
If you had kids when you were on the younger side, you may have transitioned abruptly from staying out bar-hopping to night feedings and Yo Gabba Gabba -- and years later, you may assume that we're still acting like our crazy twentysomething selves. But just because we don't have kids doesn't mean we aren't growing up.

5. "You're so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel."
We understand that you give up a lot to be the amazing parent you are -- and we do appreciate our extra cash and free time, and god, yes, the sleep. But too many offhand comments like this make us feel like you assume the reason we don't have children is that we're lazy, selfish, or shallow. The decision is never that simple.

6. "This must be birth control for you."
Parents often make this joke when their kid is being loud or persistent, and we understand it's because you're worried the situation is bugging the hell out of everyone around you. Don't stress -- a good friend understands that your kid is going to have a meltdown once in a while. We can take it. And, of course, a crying toddler is not actually a tipping point in our decision to have kids. We're not that shortsighted.

7. "Your dog/cat/parakeet is your baby."
Pets are a huge part of many people's lives, whether or not those people have children. But it feels like a consolation prize when you put it like this. That said, ask about my cat; I'm happy to pull up my latest photo of her adorableness.

8. "I can't die; I'm a mom."
During a recent brief terrorism scare in New York City, a friend said to me, "I have to get out -- I can't die; I'm a mom." We know you have someone depending on you in an unprecedented way, but there are people who love and depend on us, too.

9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back."
Don't start every correspondence with an apology. Your life is insane and letting us know you want to make time for us is appreciated. But don't stress so much: My life is busy too, and more often than not, I didn't even notice a lag.

10. "You wouldn't understand."
We know there are many things about parenting you will turn to your mom friends to talk about. And, honestly, with anyone other than a close friend, that's probably best -- I lose interest fast when someone I don't know well talks too much about their kids. But when we're real friends, don't let our relationship fade because you're afraid of boring us with parenting stuff. Just like we used to listen to you talk about your ex, we want to hear about what's important in your life now. And we hope you'll do the same for us.

3 Reasons I Love the Husband

Disclaimer: the title of this post is far more sappy than I could ever be in real life

Now, that we are past that....Here are the top 3 reasons I love my husband (well top reasons I can share )

3) He is tall. Though his height is up for debate (he says 6 ft I say 5'11)

2) He makes me laugh and we are really good friends. Seriously, we like the same music (for the most part- his taste sometimes lacks logic), we like the same tv shows, we enjoy the same activities, and the list goes on...

and the number one reason I love my husband is......

1) WE MAKE A GREAT EFFIN TEAM! I have his back and he has mine- no matter what. And that is what matters most to us!

Here is the vid to our favorite song in case you care...Enjoy!

Kids and Maxi Pads

What is it with kids and their interest in all things gross. I mean, they love mud, boogers, and freaking maxi pads.

I remember when I was younger and I too was intrigued by them. Now I wish I never had to see one again.
If you have a moment (and you do because you are reading this) go to Google Image and type kids and maxi pads or kids and tampons. You will see stuff like this:

So anyway, a few days ago a very brightly colored box was delivered to my home. It looked like it could have been something for a child. But since I know how to read I saw that it was a free sample from Tampax ( I so love free samples!) .My daughter insisted it was for her because it was pink and yellow with decorated very nicely. So she opened it.

She looked at the tampax variety pack sample for a moment and exclaimed, "YES, PADS!"

WTF? Confusion.

The sh*t my kid says

So far this weekend, my daughter has said all these wonderfully honest things to me...

While watching television, a commercial for Celtrixa came on. She got really excited and yelled, "Mommy, mommy you need that!"

I was watching What Not to Wear. My daughter asked me how she can get me on the show.

She overheard a conversation I was having about Tupac Shakur (love him fyi). So she asked who shot Michael Jackson. I said Dr. Conrad Murray.








That's all I can think of so far. Sorry for being gone for way too long.

She's growing up!

This past weekend I realized that my sweet dear baby has not one, but TWO loose teeth! What the eff!
I noticed that her bottom tooth appeared irritated or something so I touched her tooth and it moved. So I tried the other and it moved too! Katy was so happy. She ran around the house yelling "I've been waiting my whole life for this!"

Your whole life Katy? Really? (Does anyone see the drama I have to deal with around here lol)

I ran the the bathroom and cried a little (not a lot, just like 2 tears only for real) and quickly composed myself because the husband was making fun of me and telling me to man up. But in my defense, those friggin' teeth caught me off guard. I was not expecting my girl to have loose teeth at 4. She is too young...she JUST grew those teeth!

Anyhow, I took her to the dentist and they took an x-ray. Amazingly, her adult teeth are in place and ready to sprout! My baby is growing up right before my eyes! Those teeth will fall out before the end of the week I am sure. Until then, I better hurry and go take family photos!

What would you like to change about your child?

I received an interesting email from Growing Child today about changing the behavior of your child. I found it to be interesting, so I copied it into my blog :0)  Please read it and let me know what you thin. It suggests there is a part two, so when I get it I will re-post it as well.

Quick! What's the one thing you would like to change about your child?

Okay. Now, why do you want to change it?

Chances are, it's because that behavior causes the worst side of you to come out, as you nag incessantly. When considering behaviors to change, there are several things to ask yourself first.

Is this behavior mostly a result of where your child is on the developmental ladder? That is, does your child behave in this annoying way mostly because of where he/she is in developmental ability or task?

An example of this would be the two-year-old who resists nearly every suggestion from a parent. Difficult as it may be to live with such defiance, a little knowledge will confirm that this is pretty typical behavior for a youngster who is forming a sense of autonomy.

Developmental limitations may frustrate your child and not permit more mature actions. So, refresh your developmental knowledge to learn whether or not this behavior is a product of development.

If you decide that the behavior falls into the developmental category, accept the fact that you will not be able to change the behavior, but that you can learn to adopt some responses that may preserve your sanity and allow your child to both work at the developmental level and not receive continual negative feedback.

An example of this would be to allow more choices for the two-year-old, such as choosing which shirt to wear or which cup to use. A little power shared often helps defuse a power struggle.

If you have concluded that it is not a developmental issue, ask yourself whether the behavior is part of your child's unique temperament. While children don't directly inherit personality, they are born with hard-wired temperaments that influence their characteristic patterns of behavior.

Some children are more naturally boisterous and outgoing, some much quieter, finding it easier to comply. Some children have a tendency to be quite inflexible and rigid, while others happily go with the flow.

Consider the behaviors that have been part of your child since birth. Any parent would do much better recognizing innate temperament and learning how to adapt to that, rather than trying to meet it headlong with often disastrous results.

Another thing to ask yourself before you launch into behavioral change is, just why you have a problem with it? What are your expectations for behavior, where do these expectations come from, and are they reasonable/appropriate?

Sometimes others have influenced our standards, by earlier experiences, or by personal preferences. Discovering why certain behaviors push our particular buttons may be important learning for parents, and we learn whose problem it really is.

When you have gone through this reflection process, you may discover one of several things:

1. Either the behavior is not so important or so permanent as to necessitate efforts to change it; or

2. Strategic responses have rendered the behavior more tolerable; or

3. This really is a behavior that needs some modification.

If this latter answer is the one you come up with, then it's time to consider effective ways of changing behavior. More about this in the next article.

Cindy Anthony: The story of a mother's love?

As some of you may know, I am a wannabe attorney. So, I often follow court cases. Recently I have been enthralled in the Casey Anthony case. The verdict, as most of the nation knows, was returned as Not Guilty which stunned, shocked, and enraged everyone on Planet Earth. Well almost everyone. I was not surprised at all. The burden of proof was on the prosecution not the defense, and no matter how much we may feel like Casey was guilty, the proof was not in the pudding. But I've digressed. This entry actually has nothing to do with my opinion about the case. It is about Cindy, Casey Anthony's mom, and her unconditional love.

You see, Cindy Anthony was the person who alerted the authorities of her granddaughter's disappearance. She was the one who suspected foul play. And in the end, she was the one who guaranteed her daughter's freedom with her testimony. Cindy Anthony ,at some point, lied during her testimony. What changed her mind? Did she decide not lose both her daughter and her granddaughter?

Cindy lied under oath. She said she searched for Chloroform on the internet. However she was signed in at work at the time making it impossible to do the search on her home computer. This testimony was enough to confuse the jury and make it impossible to prove premeditation (which is typically needed to find a person guilty of 1st degree murder) . Ultimately, only Cindy and Casey know the truth. The rest of us will probably never know (unless an OJ Simpson style "If I DID commit the crime This is How I would do it" book is released). What we do know, is that Cindy is very loyal to her child--no matter what.  She has publicly with one hand on the Bible proven the power of a mother's unconditional love for her child. I do not believe she is the only mother to do something like this, nor do I believe she will be the last.

What would you do to save your child from the gas chamber? If  your child was facing the death penalty, can you honestly say you wouldn't perjure yourself to save her life...

Rest in Peace Caylee

Planning a Birthday Party

My kid will be turning 4 in a few days. She can't wait for her party to get here. I can't wait for it to be over!

 This year's theme is SpongeBob luau. SpongeBob because she likes him, luau because that is what was on clearance this winter :) I even scored a huge bag of luau decor from Craigslist for $10. Hey now!

Tonight I stuffed treat bags and made a bean bag toss game. Oh yeah, Saturday night fun! (not really)

I'm sitting here wondering when kids parties got so darn elaborate. I mean I don't recall having them. I can remember when  birthday party was a cake, ice cream, cousins and friends, and playing outside for like 2 hours. Where did treat bags come from? Where did party games come from? Who in the hell invented jumpers? I need answers!

My kid's party will be a blast for her. And for those of you who think my kid doesn't remember one party from the next...WRONG!!! She does. I guess that's why I put some much effort into them.  Anyway, this is what I have planned so far:

Decorations
Backyard Patio- Mainly Luau with Pineapples for centerpieces. Eating will take place here
Front yard- A home made Welcome to Bikini Bottom Sign in front yard, children's activites
Living room- Jellyfish fields. jelly fish (balloons with crepe paper attached) will hang from the ceiling and blue butcher papers with fish cutouts on wall
Activities
Getting leid-- I have leis for all children in attendance
SpongeBob bean bag toss-- I made it myself. I will take pictures of it at the party
Possibly a jumper--POSSIBLY
Jelly fishing-- kids will use a butterfly net to catch jellyfish (balloons in a wading pool) Jelly fish will be numbered. Numbers indicate their place in line for Mr. Krabs treasure chest
Mr. Krabs treasure chest-- a basket draped with a satin sheet filled with 99 cent store toys
Water play (water balloon toss, sprinklers turned on, etc)--if weather permits

Goody bags
SpongeBob treat bags --bags are SpongeBob paper lunch sacks from 99 cent store
SpongeBob themed candy from Walmart and 99 cent store
Some kaleidoscopes and paddle balls I bought on clearance after Halloween. 50 cents for a pack of 6
SpongeBob stickers from 99 cent store

Food
Krabby patties (burgers)...Maybe, I have no real intentions of cooking on that day
Pizza....probably
Fruit
salad
chips and dip

Well, let me know what you think. I will do a party recap  with pictures next week after it's over. Wish me luck. No, better yet...Pray for me!

Mommy Play with Meeee!

Working full time while mothering a 3 year old girl is absolutely insane. On an average day, I drive 2 hours to work, work for 9 hours, then drive 2 hours home. When I get home, all I want is about 32 seconds of quiet time.

HA! What a joke! There is no such thing in my home.

My little precious little baby toddler girl is very full of energy. Don't get me wrong, I love it. Actually, I prayed for it while I was pregnant. The worst thing I could imagine when I was pregnant was the thought of having a shy and timid child. My prayers were fully answered.

Thank you God.

My kid wants to play games 24/7. If running or yelling is not involved, she wants no parts of it. Even eating has to be some sort of contest. And let's not even talk about if she doesn't win. No, let's not.

 Back to the story-
After driving in beautiful L.A. traffic for at least 1.5 hours on any given day, I open the front door to a game of hide and seek. Somehow, I am always "it". This games usually lasts about 3 minutes before I get stumped and can't find her (Wow you were under the table AGAIN...I didn't even see you). She then jumps out and yell Boo! This of course has to frighten me.

Then I am able to put my purse down, kick off my shoes, and have a seat. That takes about 22 seconds. Then .... Mommy Play with meeeeee!

I love my girl, but thank goodness for nap time!

Only children and their STUFF

A wise woman once said "For every child who has everything there is a parent who is broke."
Ok, I made that up.
But it's true and you know it!

My daughter is not only an only child, she is an only grandchild and only niece on my side, and an only granddaughter on my hubby's side. Needless to say she has tons of "stuff".

And if your child is an only (only child, only girl, only boy, only baby, etc), chances are your kid has too much stuff too.

For years ( yes- all three of them) I've tried to give away her belongings to friends, to the Salvation Army, to churches, or to anyone who would take them. It is more difficult to get rid of all this stuff than it seems. Recently I decided to take to the web to see what other overwhelmed mommies are doing with their kids' stuffs and stumbled across the most incredible thing in the world: Moms with side hustles.

Moms are selling their kids stuff online. Not on craigslist, but on Facebook! That's right Facebook. Facebook is filled with mommies who are making money off of their babies used clothing and accessories. And other mommies are actually buying it. Talk about a win-win situation.

I think this idea is great. So, I have decided to interview a mommy with a side hustle to see how this whole thing goes.

Is this something you have thought of trying? If so, leave a comment and tell me about it!

A Day to Celebrate Mothers

Mother's Day is a day of food, fun, family, and flowers. It is a day to celebrate she who brought you into the world, or she who taught you how to deal with this world. My mommy day was great. I was able to spend the day with my mom as well as my daughter.

Though the day is very commercial and even dubbed a Hallmark Holiday, its a great day to me.
I enjoy trying to win the Whose Card Will Make Mom Cry competition between me and my brothers.

This year I lost. But so did my brother. I call that a win in my book.

Katy, who was not even in the contest, somehow won by giving my mom a greeting card that sang "You Are My Sunshine."

Anyhow, my day was great. I hope yours was as well.

Happy Mother's Day All! You are doing a great job.

The Problem with 3 year olds

The problem with 3 year olds is that they may very well be smarter than their parents. As a parent it seems to be our job to squash that intelligence into submission. We must prove to these toddlers that we are in fact their superior!

Katy is 3. She is very opinionated and stubborn. I have no clue from where or whom those personality traits came. She believes that I need to provide explanation for everything I say and "because I said so" is not an acceptable explanation for anything.

On any typical day she will ask for some candy. I usually will say no. She will then ask why. I tell her because either a) she has not had breakfast, b) she has not brushed her teeth, or c) she already has had some type of junk for the day. Her response to the no is ALWAYS...so what you mean mommy is that if I a) eat breakfast or b) brush my teeth I can then have candy? Or she will say well mom, I know I had a snack but the snack was not candy it was fruit snacks and this time I want candy. Fruit snack and candy are not the same.

Really kid, you think I don't know that they are not the same. And no you can't have it after you brush your teeth. All you can have is a NAP!

Note to new parents: when all else fails- send the kid to nap. Hopefully they will have forgotten everything by the time they wake up. Hopefully...

I know this is normal for a child her age but gee whiz.

If you have any advice, feel free to help a sista out!

Conversation at church

Does Jesus  Love Everybody?

Yep.

Mommy, even strangers?

Yep, Jesus has no strangers.

Really Mommy? Then what about Kidnappers. Does Jesus love them too?

(Stumbling over my words while trying to come up with an answer): Well, yes he does. But He wants to try to tell them not to kidnap anymore.

 Luckily, the Husband was there to save me. He interrupted to tell us we were too loud in church.

Maybe this is why I could never talk in church as a child.
How does she come up with stuff anyways?
Anybody else have kids who ask the most difficult questions in the world? .

I took my living room back!

My living room has been held hostage for the past 3.5 years. I am pleased to announce that  it is officially been released. That's right folks, I have stepped on my last lego (hopefully).

I have taken back my living room!


See, my daughter has used my living room as her lair since forever. Because she is the only (choose one: child, niece, grand child, granddaughter, etc), she has accumulated tons of stuff. And because she is a brat and I have no rules, the stuff resided in my living room... until now!

Slowly, I have begun to redecorate my living room. The final touch has just been completed a month ago or so. I purchased an ottoman coffee table with 4 little ottoman stools.

These things are the best thing ever invented in life. PERIOD.

All of her stuff that she uses daily is stored in the table. My living room looks like an adult lives in this home.

I am happy. 

Victory at last! Go Team Momma!

If you would like to be a part of my victorious team, check out articles like this to help you with some storage ideas.

S.O.S

My week thus far has been absolutely insane. My daughter will no longer take naps. She avoids sleeping by telling me she has cramps. This place is a mad house. To top it all off, the commute to and from work has been RIDICULOUS this week. Is this National Crash Into The Embankment Week or what?

And yes, I said cramps. This 3 year old says she has cramps. I will tell you about it later.

My house is semi-clean (only minimal food on floors, mud on walls etc). Dinner this week has consisted of taquitos on Sunday, chips on Monday, and Jack in the Box on Tuesday. I have no clue what my daughter was fed. I don't even want to know.

I will be up for air on Thursday. Please pray for me! This is my official S.O.S

Never too late to breast feed!

As many of you mommies are aware, breast milk is THE absolute best thing you can ever give your kid. If you don't believe me, as the lady who bombarded my hospital room after I had my daughter. I made the mistake of arguing with her- she grabbed my boob (while I had visitors) and made me do a live demo. True story.

Anyways, you haven't missed your chance.



Thanks to some "great" ice creamologists (is that even a word) in London, we can now give our kids who missed out on breast milk via breast milk ice cream! It's true. Click the link and read all about it.

Also, for you  mommies looking to earn a few extra bucks, the shoppe is looking for more breast milk donations...and they pay!

Ok, I don't know if it really has any health benefits. And there is no way for me to find out, because I am too grossed out to even consider trying it. But, the article does note that you can order it with a shot of whiskey. Boobcream float anyone?

Quick and funny period story

My friend's daughter recently started her period (sorry guys- you probably didn't want to read that). Usually they start off irregular, so she did not have one the next month. So she asked her mom (my friend) if that meant she was going to die.

Super funny.

Since my friend is a good mom, she answered honestly and explained how the cycle takes a while to regulate.

I'm thinking that when my time comes I may tell my kid that missed period = death

LMAO!

Have a good day!

According to THEM...working Moms Suck

I once read an article about how Stay-at-home-moms produce smarter children. I also recently read an article that working moms produce fatter unhealthier kids. Every-time I turn around I am reading about the benefits of being able to stay at home with your kids. I have nothing against mothers who stay home with their children. I know it is a tough job, but I do not agree that staying at home will produce superior children.

And yes, I am biased.
I work and my kid is awesome.
My mom worked and I am a super genius.
Her mom worked and she is amazing.

Working Moms deserve more credit. By day we run offices, answer to bosses, deal with irate humans. By night we cook, we clean, we wife, we mother. That mess is difficult...almost insane! I do all of this only to open up my laptop and see about 3 articles each day about how my decision to work is going to ruin my kids life, health, and emotional well being..

My response:

Tell it to someone who is listening.

For the record, I love working full time and parenting full time. I wouldn't choose to do anything different.

Signed,
Your resident working mom who LOVES working and being a mom at the same time

Why are these kid's movies so sad

I was at lunch with a few coworkers this week and the topic of kid movies came up. Since I am the only one with a kid, it is safe to assume I started the conversation. What prompted the discussion was the movie Up . If any of you have watched it, maybe you understand why it made my list of depressing kids movies that are sad for no reason.

Long story short: two kids grow up and fall in love. As a married couple, they find out they can't have children, life's struggles prevent them from taking a dream vacation that they've dreamed about since childhood, the wife falls sick and dies, the widowed husband lives alone and their home was going to fall victim to imminent domain. So, to avoid this he tied balloons to the house and floated to the place he and he wife had planned to vacation. Then...the adventure begins.  So, all in all the story was not bad- BUT WAS ALL THE DEPRESSION NECESSARY? I would like to vote no.

Sure, all the sad stuff happened in a sequence of images and no sound so it went over the kid's head....but I was crying, or sobbing depending on who tells the story.

Is it necessary to add a series of very adult situations to capture the attention of parents in order for us to enjoy the film? Is it? I think I could appreciate just a regular old kids movie minus the death of a loved one or parent. That ish is traumatic.

Maybe I need to stick to Care Bears and My Little Pony...now those were movies!

What are your thoughts? Do you enjoy the adult portions of kids movies? Do they make you more apt to purchase movie tickets? Let me know!!

Katy's Mom is so Fat...

And yes, by Katy's mom, I mean me.

So, in my efforts to attempt being a responsible adult, I applied for life insurance. The thought was that if anything ever happens to me or the Husband, the kid would be financially taken care of (for a while at least). So, we jumped through the usual hoops (physical, blood test, paying money) and left it at that.

Then BAM!!!! DENIAL. In the mail yesterday I received a letter telling me after long consideration, I was denied because of my stature. To me the letter looked like this:

So, what does that mean you may ask. It means I am too fat for life insurance. It means I am at high risk of dying before I pay off a policy so I am not a good gamble for the company. And I think that sucks. My physical came back fine. I am overall and apparently surprising healthy for my "stature" which is short and fat in case you were wondering. Yes I am over weight, but I have never fit into the dang height weight chart.

 And I think it sucks that I can't insure my spouse because I am fat. Confusion.

I want to blame this on pregnancy, I really really do. But the truth is I gained this weight after I had the kid. So maybe mommyhood did it. Or better yet...

TV! Yeah that's right! I blame TV. It is the root of all evil. OK maybe not. But it made me happy when I typed it.

So I have said all of this to say that maybe I need to lose a pound or 80 so I can be around for my kid as she grows up. It is either lose weight or get taller. I am accepting tips for both. Help a sistah out!

It's official~ I have given my child a complex!

I guess that isn't that great of a title, but that's exactly what has happened.
In my efforts to teach the child to be leery of strangers, I have helped her develop kidnapophobia.

So maybe I made that term up, but I bet you know what I mean.

This morning she woke up and the first thing she said is "Mom what will you do if I get kidnapped."
I answered honestly: "Go to prison." Bad answer yes...honest also yes.

Anyway, I then tried to calm the situation by telling her my job as her mom is to protect her and not to worry.

So of course, because my kid is some sort of genius, she then asks me how do I plan to protect her when she starts school....

Why would she ask me something like that? I am wondering the same thing. I put on my best poker face and gave her the best "teachers are our friends" speech that I could come up with.

I hope I was convincing.

Your Baby CAN read!

But mine can't. I mean not even a single letter word.
So does this make me a bad parent? Probably so. But hey I am trying.

She has the $300 complete Your baby Can Read DVD collection., EVERY single Dr. Seuss book, and I even bought her word puzzles. The kid just has no interest in reading. She says it all the time. For some reason I thought she would naturally be a genius like her mom (yes me). Instead, she is "creative" like her dad. I am at a loss. I can't even read a book to her because she always wants to close the book and make up a new story...WHAT KIND OF STUFF IS THAT?

I am more of a 2+2=4 type of person. She is more of a 2+2 MAY equal 4 but it COULD be something more.
I guess it isn't such a bad thing. She is very inquisitive. I just want her to be more interested in the basics, the foundation, the real stuff.

I guess I have to understand that we are different. And different isn't bad...just different.
With that said, anybody want an almost new copy of Your Baby Can read?

Kids Getting High Using 'Bath Salts'

That was the headline Washington Post. My immediate reaction: What the F*&k (excuse my language, but that is really what I thought)

Teens are getting high on bath salts…c’mon really? Ok so I had to read a little further.

Apparently, there is some new designer drug called mephedrone, which is  a synthetic drug often touted as a legal alternative to amphetamine or cocaine. Currently it is legal in the US because is it not marketed as something for human consumption. The problem- as with all these “non drug” drugs- is that the kids consume them, and then turn crazy.

So of course we will ban them in time. But in the meanwhile, I had to warn you teens, parents of teens, teens parents, and people in general who are trying to save the world one kid at a time.If your kid gets a package in the mail of bath salts... throw it away! Make them take a bubble bath with regular dish soap.

As for me, my kid won’t be going anywhere until I rid the world of harm. FYI- anywhere includes school, church, work (maybe I should rethink work- she owes me money), etc.

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Extra! Extra! Read All About It!


That's right, you heard it here first , I (Katy's Mom) have been contacted by a really cool company and asked to either review a product or host a contest. Of course I chose a contest because I want to see if anyone actually reads the awesomeness that I call my blog. No, seriously, I appreciate that you guys take the time out of your busy schedule to read about my parenting misadventures. So here's to you! The giveaway is being provided by CSN Stores, which sales a lot of cool things including TV Stands and video console stands.  


You can thank me now if you'd like.
Oh, you want to the details eh?


So I plan to randomly select the winner by placing email addresses in a hat and having Katy pull one out. How will I get your email address...good question. 


The rules:

1.Become a follower of this blog. You can do so by clicking one of the links on the right hand side of the page. You can follow with Google connect or NetworkedBlogs.


2. Become a fan on Facebook. Yes, we are on Facebook- find us at I Am Katy's Mom. The link is also on the right of the page. You have to leave a comment on the page so I know you did it.

3. Tell your friends about the giveaway. Share this blog on Facebook and tag the page in the post. 


**Bonus**


Leave a comment under your favorite entry letting me know why you liked it and you'll get your name in the hat one more time (limit one extra entry). To leave a comment, you have to select a profile. You can either select anonymous and leaving your name in the comment or selecting name/url and typing in your name.


Do all three and your name goes in the hat. 


The contest will end on Friday, January 28, 2011. I will post the winner next Sunday, January 30, 2011.


I wish you all the best of luck. Hopefully you will hear from me next week!


Until then, look at the cool stuff I found on the site.

Can you tell there is a video game system in my home?

Parenthood, it's not a job. It's an adventure! -unknown

I think that quote sums up my life right now. I have no idea who Mrs. Unknown is, but she must be a pretty smart dudette. I used to think I was pretty smart...until my daughter learned how to talk.

Toddlers ask the most insanely intriguing questions and create the most logically illogical inventions. Well at least my toddler does. 

For example, during bath time my daughter began to complain about hating baths (normal I guess??). So I (being the usual over-explain-every-damn-thing mom that I am) began to explain to her that she would stink if she didn't bathe. Then, my daughter had a great idea....Pee Pee tic tacs. 

Gross, I know.

Don't judge me.

I blame TV.

Anyhow, she went on to explain how tic tacs freshen breath, so if you used them for you pee pee then it too would stay fresh.  I told her is was an awful idea. 

I also hid all of the breath mints in the house.

To truth or not to truth

So in my efforts to be a perfect parent, I sometimes(always) tell my child the explicit truth. For example, if I am having a drink and she asks for some I tell her no. When she asks why, I tell her "because it is liquor and kids don't drink liquor". I don't do the whole "This is grown up juice" deal. I hated that euphemism as a child and I still hate it now. I mean really, what the hell is grown up juice? Juice is juice and juice is not liquor. To me the whole "grown up juice" concept increases curiosity.

Now, I have learned in my short parenting career of 3 years that this whole honesty thing backfires quite often.

My daughter is not allowed to drink soda. So when we go out to eat, I order a soda and she gets juice. Usually she will ask for some of my soda and I say no. Sometimes, she says ok and the conversation is over. But other times, usually when there are 50 million people around, she will yell "Why Mom is it liquor" (insert sound of record scratching and music halting here).

Me: No it isn't. It's soda
Her: Oh, Because I thought it was liquor.
Me: Ok well you were wrong, so stop saying that.

I mean, really? She acts like I am a freaking alcoholic or something.

Am I doing something wrong. Am I supposed to lie to her and tell her it is delicious juice for adults only and nah nah nahnah she can't have any? If you think so, let me know.

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house, not a creature was stirring....wait wrong house. Holidays in my home are always anything but quiet. I guess that would be expected. Everything that happens in my home is insanely hilarious. This Christmas Eve was no exception.

Christmas in our family has always begun on Christmas Eve. Growing up, my mom always let my 2 younger brothers and I open up 1 gift on Christmas eve before we went to bed. It was sort like a Christmas appetizer. So this year, we continued to continue the tradition, but not without a few glitches.

First of all, I was out shopping until 8pm. So I was already tired and grumpy. Then, to add to the stress of Christmas Eve shopping, my brother kept calling me to make sure I got to my house before he did because he had a surprise for the kid. So he KEPT calling to get my whereabouts...

So finally, Target did us a favor and closed! We had nowhere to go but home, or so I thought. As we were driving home, my dear hubby decided that we should go look at how the neighboring communities decorated their homes for the holiday season. I didn't want to go. He and the kid did. 2-1 I lost. No going home for me.

So for the next half hour, I drove around and admired lights with the family. It was worth it. Everyone enjoyed it.
Then, we were able to go home. (insert big happy face here)
Then, my brother arrived. This was the surprise: Okay there should a pic of my bro dressed as Santa, but my camera is lost. Bah humbug!

Of course, my daughter explained to us that this was in fact NOT Santa Claus, but Uncle AJ dressed up like Santa. Because Santa is white.

Huh?
What 3 year old says that?
I blame TV.

Personally, I believe Santa should be depicted in several ethnicities to confuse the heck out of kids. This way, anybody could dress up as Santa and kids all over the world would be convinced. But hey, I guess that's another blog entry.

Anyhow, as we waited for midnight to arrive, we laughed, we drank , and we played games. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that my brother, at 27 years old, had a random temper tantrum and decided to leave and go to the movies. This of course made me mad. So, we went and woke up our mom with the argument. Hey- she is still our mom no matter how old we get. So if we are fighting, she has to mediate (or pass out some face smacks-whatever works). So the dispute was settled and we were back to playing Fundex Games Phase 10 Card Game, which is an amazing family game if I may say so myself. The game was between the men in the family and I. Of course I won. Girls are always smarter than boys.

At 11:30pm we gave in ans opened our one gift. The kid was crying because she was tired.All was well.  Then, we went to bed.

I hope your Christmas Eve was amazing. I can't wait to hear about it!